Yeshua

I met a man in a vast open space, the wind blew I could hear his thoughts, I could summon his presence there were always three of us talking, sometimes at once, sometimes not at all, but I could hear him. The union was complex, multidimensional, spiritually initimate, ancient in years and always a completion for my soul. I learned many things from this man he was far superior in all his ways, stronger mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I was insignificant but I was greatly moved by the love and the knowledge and wisdom he imparted. We shared many things together I never lied to him I only spoke what was in my heart I wouldn't dare speak anything else, he would detect the slightest untruth and my heart would be exposed. The longer we spent together the weaker and more exposed I became I couldn't stand alone anymore I needed him, his very touch, his voice, his presence, I could no longer live without him. I knew my spirit could no longer survive without him and my body could no longer breathe in his absence, this was dangerous, life threatening, I was exposed to my very core. As this weakness became more obvious to me I began to look for places to hide from him. It never worked it seemed the very air I breathed he was in no matter how far away he was. We were from different worlds and shared nothing in common and everything together and yet as I was exposed I began to wonder who he really was. I tried so hard to listen to him that i didn't hear him anymore I tried so hard to understand that I didn't have a clue. The longer we spent time together the more he appeared to struggle within himself, as if tormented. Our power together was immense it held no boundaries, no limits and yet he struggled even more.

It's agonizing to be in the presence of the very being who holds your heart and not be able to reach them. I began to stammer for words realizing that I was galaxies away from reaching him I felt small.

When we are presented with the possibility of the bare truth and rejection from the very person who holds our soul we lash out we disassociate ourselves we attempt to stand alone without that person, we push them back in attempt to stand by telling them we don't want anything they have to offer us. While all the time we will die without them, but we can't let them know. They might crush us, leave us, destroy us, and actually they usually do. After all we're protecting ourselves so we're rejecting them, hurting them before they hurt us. Appearing as though we don't need them we're fine without them.

I guess we have a choice if we really don't care then be courageous enough to say we don't. But when we do, when we love that person be courageous enough to let down the barriers and love them no matter what, because either way whether they reject us or we reject them and then they reject us, they are going to take a piece of us with them and we are going to die a slow painful lonely death.

However, if things come to a point of permanent absence integrity requires that we do it the right way because we love them. You know once you finally really love someone it's an always n forever thing you can't just turn it off, not if it was real, and you know if it was, you take it with you into eternity.